Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Toddler Crazies

Two false starts this morning. I keep trying to turn my ridiculous week spiritual, but it just isn't turning. Instead, a snarky post on life with toddlers.

On the phone with my mom, first conversation in a week. Big one interrupts, singing from the top of the stairs, I pee pee'd my panties. Don't think I neglected her. I offered several trips to the potty, to be told, Ummm, no thank you. At least she was polite in her refusal.

Speaking of the bathroom, this morning, DH is enjoying some privacy while he showers {a distant memory for me}. Big one knocks and knocks to join him, then begins blowing on the door. When I ask what she's doing, she responds, I huff and puff and blow the door in.

Big one resorts to huffing and puffing because we have child-locks on the bathroom door knob. At least we did. When babies were way too quiet for way too long this morning, I found the child-locks off the doors and condoms spread all over the floor. Awesome and why we have condoms in the first place.

What has small one been up to, you wonder.

A cold - her stuffy nose seems to have clouded her judgment. Yesterday, she fell down the stairs, then not an hour later, she climbed the oven door, only to have it fall open and smack her, Splat!, on the tile. She is a hot mess, covered in lumps and bumps.

Reading back over these stories, I sound like a negligent parent. Where was I when small one was climbing the stove? 3 feet away. No lie. She is just that fast. She has no stamina, but for the first 5 or 6 feet, she gets the jump on big one. 2 meter sprinter in training.

In the background of toddler craziness, wildlife craziness moved in. Literally, a crazy mole found her way into the house and scampered day and night through the kitchen. We spent days trying to plug holes. She just found new holes. We laid out sticky traps. She pulled out of them.
Finally, DH took drastic measures, sniping her with a bee bee rifle. Before you gripe about animal cruelty, let a large hamster scurry around your toes for a week, then chide me about tolerating wildlife in the kitchen.

During all of this, I am was trying to give up coffee. Why would you do such a thing, you might ask. DH and I take every August to simplify, turn off the TV,  close the laptop, read more, spend quality time as a family. This year, we thought we'd fast from every beverage but tap water. And, well, we're going to need to find another way to honor God.

Basically, I'm wiped. And the girls are not. This is why God gave us VeggieTales {hey, I was able to turn this post spiritual}.

This week hasn't just been craziness. The girls have had some seriously sweet moments, like right now. Big one just called down to me, Mommy, I worshiping and praising God and praying. Thank you God for everything!! She punctuates this last sentence by jumping on sister's bed. Her excitement is infectious.

Thank you God, for toddler faith!

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