Breaking Bread

Monday is bread baking day. Weekends always see the loaf nibbled to the heel. Monday morning, no leftovers because I don't cook Sunday. DH takes peanut butter and jelly, nostalgic lunch deserving a paper bag. By Monday afternoon, we always need bread.

Humanity is built on bread. Hand-ground pea flour "horse bread" to Sister Shubert's yeast rolls. Baked carbs are for the top of the food chain.

A gluten free diet merely means different expectations for bread. I make dense loaves that only need one slice per sandwich and stick to ribs. No crumbly rice bread for us.

My recipe journal - allows recipes to evolve

Two bags of flour replaced by a dozen containers and a grain mill

The communion tray passes me by now. I want to lean over to the usher, it's an allergy thing, like he cares, like anyone cares. My head plays tricks on me, emphasizing my separation.

It's silly. The bread is a side issue. Jesus probably laughs at our centimeter square crackers and teeny juice shots. I think he was referring to regular bread, staple of the meal. Disciples, get together, have a meal, and when you share bread, remember my work that unites you. From what I read, the Corinthian church just brought their dinner to Bible study. I Corinthians 11:21-22 The heart of communion is remembering and expressing gratitude. Gratitude that I can practice as I pass the tray along and as I slice homemade bread. Remembering as I bow to pray before meals - a family eucharist three times a day.

Some time in college, I grew tired of praying for meals that I knew would continue to be prepared by sweaty, hair-netted cooks in the cafeteria. This was no God dropped manna. It was gluey pasta and fried chicken. Why did I bow my head, thank the Lord for what I was about to eat, and bless only the hands that prepared it? Would I really choke and die? Did pre-meal breadsticks and side salads count?

I didn't get it.

So I stopped. My perfunctory prayers were insincere. I opted not to insult God with ungrateful thanks.

I still didn't get it.

But I get it a little more now. God's gift of gratitude. Using meals and broken bread and daily events to trigger celebration. Seeing the cross throughout the day and practicing thank you to the God who gave all. Daily communion. I don't need a cracker in a silver tray. I need a heart of praise.

Gluten-Free Bread

Ingredients:
12 oz. (3 c) high protein, gluten free flour
      4 oz. (1c) starch (or combo of starches): tapioca, potato starch, rice, corn, etc...
      8 oz. (2 c) combination of whole grains: millet, sorghum, oat, almond, quinoa, amaranth, bean, split pea, buckwheat, flax seed meal, etc... (more whole grains - more spongey)
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
2 t Xanthan gum
1 T yeast (for flavor more than leavening)
+/- 1/4 c lecithin granules
Whisk dry ingredients together in separate bowl.

2 eggs, well beaten
3/4 c Kefir or buttermilk (could use 1 c yogurt or 1/2 milk instead)
1/4 c olive oil (can eliminate if you use 3/4 c flax seed meal)
1/4 c honey

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease 1 loaf pan (9x4).
Mix wet ingredients together in stand mixer. Add dry ingredients in 3 parts, mixing thoroughly. The mixture will more closely resemble thick muffin batter than bread dough. Once all ingredients are incorporated, pour into loaf pan and place in center of oven. Bake for 45-50 minutes, rotating half-way through. Remove immediately from loaf pan and allow to cool on rack for at least an hour before slicing.