Friday, June 29, 2012

Small One has me all to herself

Watching small one sprint around the patio. Chalk, ball, shovel, back to chalk. Freedom to choose is more enjoyable than the items themselves.

Big one is enjoying a daddy-daughter date, a fishing trip with her pink Barbie pole. She's been talking about it for weeks. How she's going to sit in Daddy's lap on the big boat. How she will use her pink pole and Daddy his big pole.

With Daddy and big one on the water, I was left with an early morning mommy-daughter date. What to do at 7am with an 18 month old? Uninspired as it seems: let her play with her own toys, alone.

No big sis to tell her how to play or what to play or to snatch toys away.

She hasn't stopped moving or smiling.

So we color bricks, any color she wants on any brick. We play soccer, let her ball hog to her heart's content. We play piano, the keys are all hers. We wander aimlessly as she leads "follow the leader." A morning to do what she wants when she wants.
Now, she wants a nap.

Who doesn't want a morning to do whatever without considering anyone else? No sharing or serving. Take a day to focus on me, then I'll be happy to focus on everybody else. My heart doesn't work that way. I find serving that much harder post pampering.

One of the hardest parts about parenting is that you're never 'off.' Even after babies fall asleep, you're still thinking about them and planning for them and cleaning up after them. It's exhausting. And for someone raised to finish all work before beginning play, I struggle to rest from parenting.

I treat God the same. Like my boss is always watching, shaking his head when I rest. Get up. There's work to do.

Rest when you're dead. That's what I always told people in college.

Sabbath. The creator made that day too. Maybe man wasn't the pinnacle of creation. After Adam, He created again: rest. Not a day to do as I like, but time to break from work and remind myself why I work, who I work for.

So I'm signing off to rest in His word and delight in His presence.

For I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, trust in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 131:2-3

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