I'm eating a sectioned grapefruit right now.
I like grapefruit; it's good for me.
Mostly I'm eating it because the process conjures a scene from "Little Women" where Jo March is writing her novel while eating an orange. Somehow I hope to channel my favorite fictional character through citrus.
This blog causes great turmoil for me. The very act of blogging assumes that someone on the internet is going to find my writing compelling enough to devote time reading it. Not just one thought, either, but every time I take up the notion to post.
By creating a blog, I'm claiming digital importance - Read me! I'm interesting.
Please understand - the problem IS that I believe I'm inherently entertaining.
And my dilemma... I want to appear humble as well.
That's right, appear. As a Christian, I know I'm called to humility; therefore, I want to appear humble. Actual humility would mean changing my prideful way of thinking and accepting my actual place in human history.
Even now, I want to turn this post in a poignant direction that appears to honor Christ but actually just makes me look like I'm a really humble person claiming not to be humble because that's what humble people actually do. Good grief - I'm sick!
Subconsciously I started this blog to self aggrandize. Ironically, I was deflated by the lack of interest people showed - few hits, even fewer comments. To my frustration, the sea of people online weren't interested in my meager "crafty" resume'.
I'm sorry for my approach to this blog. I'm sorry for my online bragging. Thank you to whomever read it. I hope to be more honest in any future posts. Stick with me; I'm growing. Thanks.