Vision of You

Looking at the premise of my blog, I realized that I portray myself as somewhat super human. Nothing could be further from the truth. I flake out and forget to call people back. I overload my to do list, then wig because I can't physically do it all. I get lost driving somewhere I should be able to find in my sleep and cry hysterically at a red light.

The reality is that the Lord graciously, painfully tore down idols in my life. The problem is that I now want to replace them - the god of career for the god of motherhood, ambition for my life transferred to ambition for my daughter's or homeschooling or whatever. This week the Lord has been revealing how incapable I am and how insufficient my earthly life is.

So this morning, Gwennan has cried non-stop since Daddy left for work; taxes are due; the beautiful weather has moved on; the home inspector is coming; the laundry is piled high and deep; and our house in Knoxville is still on the sluggish market. As I was about to scream at my daughter to just shut up a minute, the Lord intervened through my iPod (who says God isn't sovereign over Mac?)

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come    ~~ Shane Bernard and Shane Everett

I sat on the living room floor, Gwennan still screaming, asking Jesus to come into this moment. I can't tackle the whole week; maybe not even the entire day, but this moment I can spend with my Savior who is bigger than our mortgage or the home repairs or even Gwennan crying. 

Thank you, Jesus!! In you I find my rest!!!